Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
