Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
