I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
