4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
