You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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