Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize