so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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