dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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