i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize