I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
