At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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