If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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