how can u be prego again
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
