is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize