i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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