no. you can't hotbox the world.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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