I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
