That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
