BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
