Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Two words: blizzard sex
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize