I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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