Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
