I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
