we have pet lesbian snakes
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
