My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
