Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
