I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
