We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
