You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
