why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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