i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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