So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
