She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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