also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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