That's intense
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize