And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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