He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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