you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
