me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
