Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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