So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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