i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
