I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
