South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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