I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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