I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
