We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
