So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
