is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize