if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
PANTIES FOUND
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