so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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