I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
