why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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