I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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