This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
