So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
