Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
