He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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