Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
