i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
